~Kabita Kabya~
Translation : Bhawana Chaudhary
I did not have any interest about you. If there is relationship with you then only, I had interest too. From now I have no any concern about you. what kinds of relationship we had? That always gives me happiness. Now that’s also broken. Now I think, our present and future life must be better. I do not want to remember my past life. I’m alone beloved, naughty, lovely daughter in my family. Whatever I asked, immediately I found it. I was just like shining star among lecturers and friends. I was active in studies and extra-curriculum activities too. Therefore, my name was smelling like Jasmine. I felt God kept happiness in my packet. You were one who made my life colorful. When I saw you, I felt all happiness found in life. Our relationship was very different from others. There will be 100 times breakup and patch-up among us. If I was angry with you than you were tried to
make me happy.
……………………..
Our relationship was just like a blood and heart. We were together in college, but when I reached home, I felt loneliness. I don’t know, what kinds of craft it? You felt like this or not I don’t know! You know or God knows! Slowly our relationship was growing. I made many excuses to meet you. Sometimes, I used to say to my family, ‘I am going to market or friend’s home.’’ many excuses to meet you. I became more and more positive about you. I am educated and modern girl. If my family told me about your negative things than many times, I became angry with them. I used to revolt with them. I used to quarrel with friends and family because of you. You are alone my everything. People says that Everything was just in love. I forsake all rituals for you. I do not know right or wrong. If it is wrong, there is no way to believe you, but I know that it could be right. Slowly Time passed, our relationship reached in climax. Everywhere Rumor spread about us. My parents were ashamed to walk in village because of us. My good name was spoiled. Today I remember my mother’s saying, ‘’do not be close with boys without knowing their background. Be serious because you are daughter. Do not walk with boys.’’ I didn’t like my mother’s saying because I thought I have right to choose my life partner.
It was evening time. Children were eating dinner. It was month of April; I was sweeping yard by spreading water because of dust. My mother called me by my name; I went there. Mom asked me seriously, ‘Are you pregnant? Everywhere Rumor spread.’ I was kept silent. There was no way say to any words. Truth is bitter. My mother understands it. She became angry, her face became change. such face never seen like this. She started scaled me,’ I don’t want to see your face! You make me ashamed! Go with your lover. Leave my home, otherwise you will see my death body.’’ After listened this I felt not stay here one second. I trusted you completely. Immediately I went to meet you. There was evening, my hope was lightened when I met you. I explain everything with you about our problem. I said you that about our wrong decision. This problem will be solved when you take me in your home. I thought you could not say ‘NO’ But I was wrong. when I heard your reply, my headache started, I was fainted. You said about your marriage preparation. I thought you are joking with me. But you said, ‘This is real.’ I angrily asked with you, ‘What will I do?’ you said, “Abortion.” After listening this. My heart said to me, “Do not to stay there.” I scolded you whatever comes into my mouth. You pretend that my words are not affected you. Why are you pretend me to love? What kinds of law is it? We both made mistake but only i gets wages of it? Relationship needs to live a simple life. I left everything to get you but you did not honor my feeling. Your personality does not match with my face! Your parents honor will be low when I marriage you! Whatever we done yesterday that was not a love? Then what is that? I offer everything to you because I wanted to live with you but you made me time pass only. You chose other for your life partner. My life was spoiled by your decision. My hope of lamp is born out without blowing wind. What kinds of game is it played by God? Your words made me sadder than my mother’s scolding words. I feel to cry with loud voice. My tears are worthless before you. It is about to dark. I felt worthless to stay in your room. I started hating you. You did not care about this thing. I left your room without caring anything. I open my mobile and open sim card then chew it with my teeth, throw it. I made final decision to give birth my baby, I went in journey without any Goal… went in journey WITHOUT ANY GOAL…. WITHOUT ANY GOAL….
(Taken from Khatolna Audio Batkohi Sangrah 2077 Baishkh – Translated from Tharu to English language)
(Source : Translator sent it via “नयाँ रचना पठाउनुहोस्” in this website.)
