~Smita Magar~
Dear God,
This is a Thank you letter with a special request from ‘me’ to ‘You’.
God, this is my story after you sent me “there”. I am writing you this as you may not know what exactly happened though it is said you are Everywhere.
I felt my first heartbeat when I was fractions of second old. I was there quietly sleeping inside her womb. I was so tiny at that time that I was afraid of being lost. But, as seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours, hours to days, days to weeks and weeks to months I felt my body taking shape. That’s when I knew she felt me inside her and I could feel her happiness. And to my surprise I found myself happy too. At that moment I knew I was part of her. Her every heartbeat was connected to mine. Her every breath was mine and her every smile made me smile. Though I couldn’t see her I knew she was very beautiful and kind-hearted woman. After all she was the one whom I would be calling “Mother” as soon as I started talking. I loved her and I knew she loved me too. I could feel her love though I was merely two months old. I knew after nine months in her womb I would be on her lap smiling at her. Her lap was waiting for me. The world outside the womb was waiting for me. I wanted to be nine months old so much that I felt I could not wait any longer to feel the world of my Mother. But, what to do? I could do nothing against the nature’s rules. But I knew one day I was going to feel it and touch it with my hands. I was so sure of everything and so eager for everything.
But something happened when I was about three months old that destroyed my whole dreams of being part of my mother’s world. That day I felt my Mother crying bitterly which was very strange to me. She had never done that before. I could hear someone yelling at my mother with words ‘We don’t want Her’ time to time. I didn’t know what exactly those words meant. That night my mother cried like anything. I cried too; knowing nothing. At that time how much I wished to make her stop crying and tell her how much I loved her. I thought she was crying because I was not being good as I tried to move here and there. So, I promised myself not to move so much and disturb her.
A week later, I was quietly sleeping as I had promised not to make any movement that would hurt my mother. Suddenly, I felt something evil moving towards me. I tried not to let it touch me but it was everywhere. I couldn’t hide from it. It attacked me like a hungry vulture in stories and I screamed from those terrible pains I felt from its touch. In seconds, the pain was everywhere in my body. It was parting me from myself. I could feel my heart beat slowing down. The pain was making me hard to breath. I shouted with all my force, “Mother, Help Me! Mother Help Me…” I could feel my body melting but I didn’t stop shouting for help until I arrived at a point where I felt nothing.
When my eyes opened, I was not in my mother’s womb anymore. I was sleeping on the clouds. It was so beautiful and so soft. There was no pain in my body nor my body was melting. I was perfectly fine. I looked around and saw an angel with two wings and sweet smile on her beautiful face as my mother had described in those stories before sleep. I was flying with her. When I asked her why I was not in my mother’s womb she said they didn’t want me that’s why YOU had sent her for me to save me from further pain. So, God I want to thank you for your help.
As you are aware I believe, now I am living with other lovely angels along with the one you had sent for me. They all love me very much and I know they all want me though my to-be parents didn’t. The place where I live is called Heaven (as I am told). It is so beautiful. More beautiful than my to-be mother had described. There is love everywhere. No matter who I am they accept me. They love me and want me for what I am. So, thank you God for giving me this beautiful world with beautiful people. I am very happy here so Please God don’t send me “there” again. I am not welcome there, You know!
Thanking you!!!
Yours sincerely,
3 months old baby.
By Smita Magar
26th march 05.
Kathmandu, Nepal
(Source : Pardesh.com)
