~Hitendra Raj Joshi~
Rossy returns from her school thrusts into the kitchen but she doesn’t feel hungry so she kicks bathroom door, she unbutton her shirt, she throws her vest, she strip her skirt and she
2064AD September 28 in the evening Rossy returns from her school she looks happy. She is in her early teen. Black eyes, short black hairs, flat nose and flat chest, a tomboy look. Some people may get confused with her sex boy or a girl when they meet her for the first time she chatters a lot and loves watching TV. She gets very little times for her family. But she loves to kill her times listening to fairy tales told by her grand ma’. Her grand ma’ also loves to tell a tale to her grand daughter.
Rossy’s grand ma’ an eighty years old woman, with thin white hairs wrinkled skin, she always keeps her spectacle close to her. She was born in 1980. She was named Sunayana by her father, which means “beautiful eyes”. Right to her name she used to have beautiful sharp eyes. But now she is in her early eighties. She can’t even recognize a person close to her without her spectacle.
Rossy returns from her school thrusts into the kitchen but she doesn’t feel hungry so she kicks bathroom door, she unbutton her shirt, she throws her vest, she strip her skirt and she yanks down her underwear. Then she takes a shower. Checks herself in the mirror but to her surprise her flat chest is taking a dome shape. She doesn’t like that, she gets afraid. In no time she puts on her underwear, skirt then shirt. She runs to her dearest grand ma’s room. She tells her about change in her body. Sunayana tells her “its s sign that you are getting mature.”
But Rossy doesn’t want to get mature she asks,” Why do we get mature?” Sunayana doesn’t have any answer she smiles at her innocent question, she asks again, “how do you look like when you was young?” Before her grand ma’ could think for answer she asked another question, “Why we need to get mature?” Sunayana smiles at her grand daughter’s naïve questions.
She asks her “you don’t wanna listen a story today?” She replies, “no, Grand ma I have heard all of them, all those stories are same. Today I wanna listen to a new story, a unique one.” Her Grand ma says,” ok then tell me what kind of story we wanna listen?” Rossy thinks for few seconds and says,” I don’t wanna listen those stories about prince and princes, bitch and wizards, deer and doe I wanna listen something different.” At the mean time Rossy catches her Grand ma’s pony tail. Sunayana has a pony tails and lost of piercing on her body. Sunayana pulls her and says, “I will tell you a story about a young girl who loves to have a pony tails.” Rossy says, “like yours one. Sunayana says, “Yes, like mine.”
“OK Grand ma’ ” Rossy replies. Both of them are on the same bed. Then; Sunayana begins her story, Rossy gets excited and says “tell me a tale about a pony tail, tell me a tale about a tail grand ma.”
Sunayana begins her story, ” listen Rossy today I gonna tell you a tale about a nepali girl, who loves to have a pony tail. I gonna tell you a story about her, about her pony tail. I gonna tell you a tale about her life.” As her Grand ma begins Rossy gets concentrated with her voice,
“Eighty years ago in 1980 may 23 in one of the family of Kathmandu a mother gave birth to a child with beautiful eyes, flat nose like yours, her father was a Nepali teacher. Although belonging to Kirat family his interest, his dedication in Nepali literature made him a teacher of Nepali literature. His name was Santa man Rai, known as S.M Rai. He named his daughter Sunayana that means “beautiful eyes, SM Rai was very happy that day he decides to give all the happiness to her daughter which he can’t get because he was born in a poor family in Taplejung.” He decides, “This will be my first and last child.”
Grand ma goes on telling a tale, “SM Rai, when he was a kid he had two younger brothers, two younger sisters and one elder sister. He was second among six children of his parents. So he knows what a big family means.”
“As time passes Sunayana began to walk, she began to talk, quite earlier than other children. Her father decides to take her to his village once, to Taplejung. In the early morning of winter Mr. Rai gets up early, He packs up his baggage. They check their luggage; lock the door, looks for the taxi in the misty streets. It’s really hard to recognize the things at a distance due to the mist. In the mean time yellow light moves towards them piercing the mist and after a moment a taxi appears in front of them.”
“Driver asks taxi Sir.” Mr. Rai and family sit in the taxi. Mr. Rai says, “To the Airport.” They arrive to the airport. They fly towards North East in a twin otter. In no time they were in Taplejung. Mr Rai feels nostalgic when he lands in Taplejung. His old memories get refreshed. “He was back to his home after eighteen years.
“Santa man trudges towards his home with his bag in own hand and his daughter in other with his wife Sanu. He was back to his village after long time most villagers had already forgotten him as he enters his room he saw only his mother and two younger sisters. Santa man bowed to his mother.” Then he says “where are others father and my brothers.” With rear full eyes his mother says get fresh first then have some food. I think you are tired and we will talk about them.” Santa man’s mother takes Sunayana her grand daughter in her arms.
“Late evening Santa man with his mother and sisters were sitting near the fire with Sunayana on her grand mother’s lap. That was a time of Panchayat system; strikes were in progress all around the country against the system.”
“His mother with tear full eyes begins that incident happen a decade ago”, “Your youngest brother who studied in the village school get interested in politics with his friends. I didn’t knew what they did bur they always talk about a new system of people, with his friends they begun their campaign against government your mailla brother was also supporting him one day police came to our home they searched for your brother they didn’t find them then they arrested your father your brothers didn’t return. Few days later their officer came to our home and said that when your father was trying break the jail he was shot dead by one of the guard. They even didn’t give us his dead body for funeral. They asked for your brother address I said I don’t know where they are next day
they came to our home. They were in big numbers when we deny to tell them where your brothers are they kicked me, they tied me with door. When your sisters shouted for help then they threatened them. As they ignored one of their man began to tear your sister’s clothes that night, they stripped your sisters they made them naked and they forced them to have sex with all those men. They raped your sisters turn by turn. Another day we heard that your brothers were also shot dead in an encounter. Your didi died in the landslide during monsoon five years ago, all of her family died. From that day we are given a title as terrorist’ family. If you stay here for long them may arrest you too because your brothers were against them”
“Santa man didn’t understand any thing but he decided to return Kathmandu with all of his family.”
“Next day Santa man with his daughter were wondering around the village someone said to him that his village was attacked by some peoples they were searching for a man named Santa man lots of people are killed. He gets shocked. He didn’t knew what to do he ran toward his home. His mother, sisters and wife Sanu all were lying dead their body and their house was burnt. Losts of other villagers were killed. He knew to stay at that place is risky, the police were searching for him because his brothers were against the government so they thought he is a spy and he is spying. So he decides to leave the village not for his life but for his daughters life. He loves her very much.”
“He returns to his flat with his daughter. His wife was killed in his own village he promised to keep her daughter unknown about that incident and keep her happy.”
“In no time Sunayana became young. Santa man looks after her as a father and as a mother too she begins her school. Santa man begins to forget about his wife. As people says time is the best medicine, really time is a panacea, He begins to forget all old memories and he was on the way to his new life with daughter Sunayana.”After lots of strikes in 1990 new system democracy was introduced in the country people expects for lots of things Santa man knew those were all mirage. Democracy didn’t bring any change in his life. His job of teacher goes on as before and
her daughter goes on growing.”
“His daughter changes to teenage girl from a kid.”
” Sunayana changes with her age, she becomes over conscious with punk fashion than her looks she begins to exploit her father love. Her style of living changes with her age. Discos, parties and pub become part of her life. She keeps on changing with time.”
Rossy’s grand ma’ is tired now she gets down from her bed, Rossy helps her she sits in a arm chair near by comfortably. Rossy requests her grand ma to continue, “tell me grand ma how did she changed, did she have lots of boy friends, did she loved her father as he loves her?” Her grand ma smiles and she keeps on telling a story, a true story, true story about a girl, A Nepali girl. A girl who was born in early eighties and grown up in eighties and nineties. Story about a teenage girl mid and late nineties, about a girl of early twenty first century.
“Rossy’s Grand ma begins her story again, ” Sunayana passes her SLC in first division that day Santa man was really happy. He wanna fly with her daughter, He wanna go around the world tour with his daughter. So he calls his daughter he wanna go out with his daughter.”
“He looks in her daughter with surprise pierced nose, ears, lips and navel, colored hair, sleeveless t-shirts with a print of marijuana leaf, pant and belt on her low hip, blackly polished nail.”
“Santa man laughs he doesn’t get angry with her, he never gets angry with her. Sunayana ask why he was laughing” Her father replies, “listen fashion should be comfortable you look so uncomfortable with these dresses.” She replies no daddy fashion should be unique, should be different, I wanna be different, different from other people ,” there definition about fashion was completely different.”
“One evening Sunayana’s father meets her daughter after his office at home he get shocked to see her shaven head.”
“Are you gonna be a monk Sunayana” His father ask. She replies, ” No, Daddy what I wanna have is pony tail No girl around the town haven’t got pony tail. I gonna have one. So firstly I shaven my head leaving few hairs back in my neck so that my pony tail looks longer than my hairs.” Santa man replies, “In our society only mens those hindu man keeps such type of tuppis even I don’t have one because I am buddihst. Listen Sunayana only man hindu men keeps such type of tuppi that’s not even a tuppi.” Sunayana immediately reacts to her father and says, “there is no different between men
and women, you don’t know about women’s right daddy, if men have rights to do something women have too. And about religion people should not be separated by religion. Firstly people came on the earth then only religion. Religion is made by people to divide people’s. Lost of wars is happening in India and other places for religion, these nasty games should be stopped. We all belongs to same religion and there is no different between men and women.”
Grand ma goes on, ” Santa man understood nothing what religion she was talking About, what rights she was talking about.” “Santa man find himself conservative and back warded man at the mean time he thinks about his tribe his culture then he compare himself with his daughter. He compares his hairs with his daughters pony tail. He finds himself in illusion who is right. He himself or his fashionable daughter.” “That evening Santa man was waiting her daughter for dinner, time was already 9 pm, she had never been so late without noticing him. Lots of things plays in his mind in
the mean time Sunayana enters the room.”
He asks,” Why you did so late, now you have finished your school you should think about joining college.” Sunayana says, “college here daddy is that college, No, Daddy I wanna go to states for further studies. Today I went to meet my friend whose sister is working and studying at the same time in the state. She is also making lots of money.” Santa man says, “Listen foreign land can’t be like your own land , you have to face lots of difficulties out there. You have to earn your living in the mean time you have to study, you are very young for that.” She says, “Come on daddy I am not a kid now I am eighteen years old. I know what’s good and what’s bad. I wanna she the world. I don’t wanna live my whole life here, here in Nepal. I wanna travel lot I wanna she the whole
world. I wanna feel the world.”
“Santa man find himself helpless he doesn’t have good answer to defense himself and to stop Sunayana’s will to study abroad in U.S.”
“From next day Sunayana began to prepare for her TOFEL she beings to correspond with university in states. Her friends suggests her she should go to small city, living expense is cheap in small cities other says no it’s difficult to get job in small cities. How can we win our bread without a job? She decides to go to one of the big city but which one? And which university?”
“Santa man knows he will be alone, completely alone if her daughter leaves him. He didn’t want to get alone, but he can’t stop her either. He can’t and he doesn’t want to kill her daughters desire.”
“Sunayana scores an average mark in her TOFEL and she prepares to leave for states. She gets her I-20(Conformation letter from University) from the University from New York.”
“Sunayana was very happy because she got her conformation letter and she is now applying for visa. That evening she requests her father to collect one million rupees. Santa man get shocked.” He says, “Teacher like me can’t have such a huge amount of money Sunayana.” She replies immediately “you can withdraw your funds if not sufficient bank will do it for us, for one day we have to pay only some charge. And that’s just to show bank security. After reaching there I will be making my own money.”
Santa man asks “and what about visa it’s not easy to get visa for people like us from third world.”
She replies “it’s only difficult for old people for girl like us it’s quite easy.”
“Santa man understands nothing why it’s easy for girls to get visa.”
“Sunayana gets visa for four years to study in states, but she has only few hours work permit per week. Anyway she was happy, she was out of the world. Santa man tries to show himself happy because he doesn’t wants to make her feel bad.”
“Santa man draws his funds and bank balances to pay his daughter’s first Semester fee and her other necessity after few days Sunayana flies for States. Santa man was completely alone.”
“Santa man was living alone only thing that can bring joy in his life were mails and calls of his daughter .”
“One day he received a call from her daughter in late evening.”
“Daddy is that you, I have to work lot so I even don’t get time to call you and mail you. You know I have changed my college before I was studying Computer Science but that was expensive so I joined small college here I have also changed my subject. OK Papa I have to go for work. I will call you later.”
“Santa man even doesn’t get chance to say anything she called him, she chattered and she went.”
“Early in the morning 2001 September 12 Santa man was listening to the news, he heard news about the attack made in Twin Towers in New York. He gets worried about his daughter. Though he knew she lives and works in some other place he was worried. He wanna call her daughter but he doesn’t know where to call.”
“That evening Sunayana calls his father again he shouts.”
“Are You ok, Are You all right Sunayana?”
“Yes, Daddy I also heard the news about that attack in Twin Towers but I don’t know lot about that I don’t have time to read papers and to watch news. Daddy I am in Topeka not in New York I can’t survive in New York because everything are expensive There and jobs were also rarely found”
“Take care Sunayana.”
“He replies.”
“Yes Daddy I heard that there is a civil war in Nepal. Everyone suggest here not to go Nepal is that true. If so please you come here we will live together. People says there is a war between Maoist and Government, you are not safe in that war land.”
“He replies”
“I’m Safe here but you don’t forget to return.”
“Yes Daddy I have to go now.”
“Then line gets disconnected.”
“Santa man get surprised he thinks why we are not safe in our own country, Yes, it’s true Here we have some wars but there are war or strikes all over the world in India, Malaysia, Middle East, Africa, China and Taiwan. He thinks, “Our Government had made this small wars big issue just to gain some foreign economic help which will get corrupted by our political leaders and Ministers those aids will not reach suffered people.” some of those leaders were friends of his brothers who use to play with his brothers. After they began their political life they had struggled a lot, they had made lot of sacrifice. He even can’t think those same people when they reached to the government and powerful post they will do the same thing as leaders before democracy had done. They even did worst than that. They became reach in no time. Santa man can’t believe his own eyes and ears, those leaders who fought for democracy will becomes corrupters.”
“One day Santa man receives a letter from University. He have to go to the Pokhara to teach Nepali in Prithivi Narayan Campus. He have not forgotten yet that incident when student destroyed there own Campus, Prithivi Narayan Campus. He had not forgotten yet the incident in English Department in T.U when students destroyed there own department. He thinks those young and ambitious students are not terrorist then why they did such type of destructive things. In the mean time he answers himself because students doesn’t get what they deserve results are not held in time, Students gains
very less mark. The teacher doesn’t take class in time and students think they need luck than hard work to pass there exam with good marks. He thinks he can’t do anything. What can he do alone?”
“In states Sunayana was happy when she was preparing to leave for her own country. She knew there is a war, she knew she can’t be safe in Nepal. She also thinks Nepal is a motherland if she can’t be safe in Nepal where she can be safe? She hasten to return. She is waiting for next day when she will leave that foreign land for her motherland.”
“Coldness of Himal that’s what I wanna kiss in our Nepal the only thing I want is peace”
“The next day Sunayana is leaving foreign land in the jet plane. Hastening to reach Kathamandu. Her plane lands in Changi Airport in Singapore after a long and boring Flight. She thinks Nepal is not so far for her from Singapore. She says to herself ” First thing I will after reaching Kathamandu is calling my father in Pokhara.” “She met lots of People, She made lots of friends but she never meet person like her father who helps her all the time voluntarily and by heart.”
“She takes another plane and she leaves Singapore for Kathmandu.”
“After few hours she was in Kathmandu, she was in one of her friends home as she has not got her address in Kathmandu She calls her father in Pokhara.”
“Daddy I am back I am in Kathamndu I wanna see you come here today.”
“Santa man can’t believe himself his daughter is just few hundreds kilometers away from him.”
“I am coming Sunayana you just wait I can’t leave right now. Exam is going on here. First let me finish this better you come here by plane.”
“No, Daddy. I got job here, I am so lucky here in Nepal, Daddy I have to teach English in a High school.”
“But you said you didn’t earn any degree in any subject how you get that subject.”
“Because I am back from states Daddy principal of that school thinks I should be good in English because I am back from States.”
“I need this job Daddy. I wanna win my own bread.”
“Santa man smiles not because his daughter got a job but because she got job of a English teacher. That sounds funny for him.”
“After a week Santa man comes to Kathmandu to meet his daughter after three and half years he takes taxi and rushes toward the address given by her daughter. Streets of Kathmandu looks quite, towns look close as it was a Saturday a weekend holiday. When he reach that address he rings the bell and the door. He hears the dog barking from Inside. Sunayana runs as she heard that bell she knew that was her father. She didn’t need To check who is there through window because she can feel her father she knows that’s her father not anyone else.”
“As she opens a door saws her father her father looks at her then her pony tail he smiles and says.”
“Sunayana you have not changed your hair style yet.”
“No Daddy this is like my identity people will not recognize me if I cut it. I use to have pony tail for fashion now it’s part of my identity.”
“Both of them laughed Santa man Rai was Happy to meet her and to see her. And he liked her pony tail.”
“Do you wanna go back Sunayana?” Santa man asked.
“No, Daddy Now I wanna get married in my country and I wanna stay in Nepal forever Yes, Daddy forever.”
Rossy’s Grand ma’ eyes fills with tears and she says “from that day Sunayanais living in Kathmandu, she is married, she even have grand son and daughters.” Rossy asks, ” Is she still beautiful grand ma’? Can I meet her?” She replies, she is old now” Rossy says, “Is that you Grand ma’ because your name is also Sunayana and you got a pony tail also, Is that you.” Grand ma’ says “Yes, Rossy Yes, that was me you wanna go out for a education?” Rossy replies No, Grand ma’ I wanna study in my own country Sunayana smiles of her satisfaction.
Next day Rossy comes with her other cousins and friends to her Grand ma’ and they Request, “Grand ma’ tell us a tale about a tail, tale about a pony tail.” Sunayana smiles and she again begins her story. A story about herself, a tale about her pony tail, a story about her own life.
Hitendra Raj Joshi
Kathmandu, Nepal
(Source : Sapanasansar)
